professorfangirl:

prokopetz:

This is the one time of year that I love wasps.
Not because the wasps themselves get any nicer. They’re horrid little creatures year round. No, it’s because I have a couple of big apple trees out back, and late August, early September is when the apples start ripening.
Now, if you don’t harvest your own fruit, there are two things you need to know about apples.
The first thing you need to know about apples is that, when apples get ripe, they tend to fall from the tree at the slightest breeze.
I often work late at the office; by the time I get home, there are piles of apples scattered everywhere - and sure enough, the wasps are out in force, gorging themselves on the fruit. When I go to clean up the windfallen apples, the wasps naturally do the “rawr, I’ma fuck you up!” routine for which wasps are known.
The second thing you need to know about apples is that they ferment very rapidly in the late August heat.
So: the wasps try to come at me, but they’re too drunk to fly. They get about an inch off the ground, then faceplant directly into the turf, flip over onto their backs, and lay there, legs twitching in the air as they try in vain to find something to sting.
Perhaps I’m a man of simple pleasures, but I bust up laughing every. single. time.
Fucking wasps.

I tried to reblog this with a witty tag, but Tumblr took it as serious advice:

professorfangirl:

prokopetz:

This is the one time of year that I love wasps.

Not because the wasps themselves get any nicer. They’re horrid little creatures year round. No, it’s because I have a couple of big apple trees out back, and late August, early September is when the apples start ripening.

Now, if you don’t harvest your own fruit, there are two things you need to know about apples.

The first thing you need to know about apples is that, when apples get ripe, they tend to fall from the tree at the slightest breeze.

I often work late at the office; by the time I get home, there are piles of apples scattered everywhere - and sure enough, the wasps are out in force, gorging themselves on the fruit. When I go to clean up the windfallen apples, the wasps naturally do the “rawr, I’ma fuck you up!” routine for which wasps are known.

The second thing you need to know about apples is that they ferment very rapidly in the late August heat.

So: the wasps try to come at me, but they’re too drunk to fly. They get about an inch off the ground, then faceplant directly into the turf, flip over onto their backs, and lay there, legs twitching in the air as they try in vain to find something to sting.

Perhaps I’m a man of simple pleasures, but I bust up laughing every. single. time.

Fucking wasps.

I tried to reblog this with a witty tag, but Tumblr took it as serious advice:

image

(via orgasmic-humor)

thelovelysouls:

i should not be laughing this hard

(Source: epiphanyvisuals, via artificialhusband)

cowboycliche:

One of my favorite twitter exchanges

cowboycliche:

One of my favorite twitter exchanges

(via artificialhusband)

shinykaito:

fadeintocase:

brokeyourstupidcrap:

IT’S TOO PRETTY I CAN’T EAT SOMETHING THAT LOOKS THIS GOOD.

The Gayest Cake™

Hey guys dont forget the source! (x)

(Source: knockingawesome, via artificialhusband)

(Source: fyeahmovieclub, via l0verrboi)

hippie-musician:

Went to a book store today, and cat.

(via l0verrboi)

yungjulia:

couldn’t risk it man

(Source: dorites, via littlerockerbitch)

forcefields:

derpdan:

would you rather have no internet connection or no friends

image

if i had no internet connection I’d have no friends

(via pendents)

beartier:

lava really pisses me off cuz like

i know it could melt my face off but then i see a picture like this and

image

i want to dip my hands in it

(via fuckthebitch-bethebitch)

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